Failure and Apathy

Never have I spent so great an abundance of effort on schoolwork only to be dissatisfied with the outcome. I feel nothing but miserable apathy and a conflicting urge to succeed yet give no regard to my education. Art is a passion that I have always had, one that has risen and sunk at varies times over the past sixteen years. Creating is something I want to spend the rest of my life doing and so far, I am quite content with this. However, this societal structure in which I am forced to reside in until I become of legal age, is one that bombards the youth with an idealized notion of happiness and success via completion of high school with approximately a 4.0, followed by the admittance to a prestigious university. Perhaps it is merely the town in which I am raised that pressures us to compete fiercely among our peers and beloved friends. Regardless, I feel that the standard is set to an emotionally and mentally strenuous level that is completely unnecessary for all youth to undergo. My passion can be lived with absolutely no school. I have always been self-taught and for others whose life goal may stray towards another light, a rigid and thorough educational process could be construed as applicable. Of course, this is all coming from an individual who is careless and desires ultimate freedom to creative expression. I loathe all limits and law that keep me chained to a desk and chair at odd hours of the night only to further my understanding of insignificant (in terms of my life-goal) subjects which consequently deny me the opportunity to create and enjoy life. Life is far too brief to spend dwindling away precious time with negligible pursuits. Unfortunately, the next year and half of my high school career will, as I anticipate, slowly suffocate all artistic and creative potential I once had. I will maintain a mundane observation of the environment which confines me to this hell for as long as is necessary to satisfy the requirements of ravenous wolves and pigs.