I've narrowed down the essence of my existence. The 'cabin in the woods' lifestyle appeals greatly to me. I seek flight, I want to escape, I wish to breathe easy and weightless among nature. I want to find serenity upon the earth where I shall forever lie. But I don't wish to do this alone. Like Frodo, I require a companion for this journey, a Sam, if you will. Certainly not a Sid, because I don't much care for Nancy. Independence is vital and the price of owning oneself is never too high. At times, I don't think petty interests such as politics are of much importance. Music, art, conversation, beautiful instances of joyful ... fuck this.
I stare out windows. A lot. I'll be sitting across from someone, and I'll look past them out the window. I'll think about everything. About how we're inside, contained in more or less a box because we've chosen that path, about how others walk freely outside because they have also chosen that path. I think about how all the people out there don't think about how they're free like that, but instead about how they're constantly in motion, on the way to being imprisoned. I think I have issues with buildings....
I lay in grass. This occurs frequently. Nothing matters more than the moment. Of course, I tend to analyze everything and it's like watching a movie and being aware of a specified plot the whole time and how the scene with the clouds is transitional or symbolic or something. This perspective certainly makes life a lot more interesting, and yet a lot more depressing. I can never live in the moment. It's terrible. I miss out on a lot of experiences by over analyzing them and fitting them into the overall picture of our existence. The grand scheme of things, where none of us are at all important. It's complex and hardly worth the time to debate, yet I find myself pondering it endlessly. I try not to, I try to live without those restraints, perhaps this is why I seek a free lifestyle, limitless.
No comments:
Post a Comment